So again today I am reminded that I am only human, and not even a great one at that. I was talking to the chemist about the nature of people with careers and how even things that seem ordinary to us are extraordinary to others. Case in point: checking blood work on a patient. I must order about 20 blood tests on any given day. I routinely follow up those as well as several others that are ordered by my partners. Well, this weekend I ordered blood work on a patient and I forgot to check the results. It was crazy busy on Saturday. I did two c-sections, four vaginal deliveries, a post-partum tubal ligation, and triaged and admitted numerous other patients. This patient ended up feeling better, we decided she had a viral syndrome, and we sent her home. She came back today and while she was being admitted, her lab results from Saturday popped up. They were not normal. Had I seen them on Saturday, I never would have sent her home. Very very sobering. Luckily in this case she was fine, her baby was fine, and everything should turn out okay. But she could have had a seizure or a stroke at home. Her placenta could have abrupted. She could have died. Her baby could have died. Luckily, they didn't.
And so there it is. I am only human. I make mistakes. But my mistakes can kill people, and if that doesn't scare the crap out of you (and me) I'm not sure what could. I went into medicine to help people, not to hurt them. Things like this (even when there was no bad outcome) make you question everything you know and do.
Turtlewoman
Ramblings from my life . . . from delivering babies to goatherding, reading to travelling, knitting to hiking, and beyond . . .
About Me
- Turtlewoman
- United States
- In my 30's, love to spend time with family and friends, knit, read, travel, and goat farm.
My first (and favorite) baby
I'm the princess pud-erina!
Tankie looks beguiling
I'm the baby, gotta love me!
Aphidia
My first grand"kid"
Truckie says hello
I'm such a cutie
6 comments:
Wow, Liz... that's rough. Thank goodness she was okay. I can't imagine having the responsibilities you do. But a doctor who is human is the best anyone can hope for. And with your surgical skills you do SO MUCH more good than any of the rest of us mere mortals can do, so it makes sense that the consequences of mistakes should be higher. You do so much important, good stuff. Your net score is very very positive.
Megan
Been there. Not with bloodwork, of course (for which I'm sure we're all very thankful...: )), but with parts that can fail and kill somebody. It's sobering, that feeling of having missed something that could've hurt someone or worse. And it's probably tougher on doctors, because people seem to expect doctors to be less fallible than engineers - in spite of the facts that doctors are usually under more pressure, and that mechanical stresses are often better understood than the human body.
ANYWAY, my technician used to tell me that if you never make a mistake, it's because you're not doing anything. By extension, if you never made a medical mistake, it would be because you weren't working in medicine. It's a responsibility - and a risk - but it's a lucky thing that you and other people are willing to take it on. (Heath and I feel rather strongly about this, since we probably owe our lives to my old OB-GYN....: ))
SO! Do your best, and although it'll never be perfect, remember that Megan is right: your net is very positive.
-love,
C
Liz, you are a GREAT human. This sounds like it was a scary experience, but I watch enough doctor shows on TV to know that something like this happens to every doctor at some point. And I know enough about people just by being one to know that it is the great ones who take these scary experiences and learn from them and become even greater people. I am so in awe of the things that you do every day, and the number of people that you help every day. And of course I'm really glad that your patient ended up being all right.
yeah lizzie, amen to all the above. the end of it all is: you DID see the results as soon as you humanly could, and then you treated her as best you could. nothing awful DID happen, and i'm sure you've been an enormously positive force for many of your patients.
and you have this kind of situation anywhere. i'm a bookseller - i sell ideas. the ministry of defense is next door - i sell them military books. and each time i sell one to one of the higher-upper types i hope they'll read it as a preventative measure, not as a how-to-start/continue-your-war book.
it's much more diffuse than your direct patient contact, but it's still something i think about when i have to order titles for my section. i DON'T order titles for my section for that reason too!
love, sophie
I've missed things too Liz. And I've seen other docs miss things or make bad decisions. Some of them are cruddy doctors but a lot of them are really really good docs who also happen to be human. I have NO DOUBT that you fall into the second category. You are SO hard working and attentive and caring but even with all that every now and then something gets missed. That's why there are so many double check systems in medicine. Your patients are lucky to have you.
Debbie
Lizzie,
It was so incredible to see you yesterday. It was just what I needed. Like everyone else, I am in awe of you. You have devoted your life to helping others in such an important way. As someone who has had more than a few too many medical issues, the right doctor - meaning one who is there for you, who hears you, who cares so deeply, and who knows that they are human too - makes all the difference. While more babies are not in my future, I would give anything to have you as my doc.
Lots of love,
Chesley
ps - bring in your scarf when it is all seamed up so I can post it on the blog!
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